THE SCRAPBOOK is delighted to learn that it is not going deaf -- or at least that it's not getting any deafer than some other reputable publications. When President Clinton went barreling into his peroration on the convention's first night, we were right there, tightly gripping our ear trumpet, and we could swear his almost-final words were, "And remember, whenever you think about me, keep putting people first, keep building those bridges, and don't stop thinking about tomorrow."
But the next day, reading the Boston Herald, we discovered that the president had said " whatever you think about me . . . " -- an oblique reference, said the Herald, to the Lewinsky scandal. We double-checked the transcript in the New York Times -- the newspaper of record -- and sure enough, the Times agreed with the Herald (there's a first time for everything): The president had said "Whatever . . . "
And so it went, back and forth, throughout much of convention week: whatever, whenever -- witnesses seemed split into two camps. This was more than a parlor game, more than a mere diversion for the convention-addled. To THE SCRAPBOOK, an avid if amateur Clintonologist, it was a matter of some significance. If the president said " whatever you think about me," it constitutes more than an oblique reference to the Lewinsky scandal. It carries a whiff of modesty. It suggests a realization on his part that there are some people who don't particularly like him, and that those people are nevertheless worth addressing, if only to encourage them to pursue the president's values (building bridges, listening to Fleetwood Mac, etc.). For a man of such towering vanity, this would be a stunning concession -- almost endearing. Almost.
Whenever is a different kettle of fish, however, in THE SCRAPBOOK's opinion. To say "whenever you think of me," in a valedictory address, suggests an assumption that, well, let's face it, all of you out there are going to be thinking about me an awful lot, probably won't be able to get me off your minds, in fact, and while you're thinking about me, which I know you will be, often, I'd like you to build bridges and the rest as a way of showing your vast appreciation for my wonderfulness. Whenever, in other words, suggests more than towering vanity; it suggests an all-consuming narcissism.
We need not add that there are many, many people who, once the president leaves office, hope never to think of him, ever again. But by week's end the answer was in. After some White House officials had suggested privately that the president had said "Whatever," the White House released the official transcript of the president's speech, answering the question once and for all: Is Bill Clinton a world-class egotist, or is he merely self-absorbed to an unappealing, and perhaps pathological, degree? It turns out that we heard right. The Times heard wrong (as it duly noted in a correction). He said "whenever." And we refuse to think any more about it.