The Ongoing Saga of 'Obamaweek'
Newsweek's worshipful coverage of Barack Obama is a familiar theme in these precincts, but it's gotten so habitual and, well, semi-biological in the past several weeks that we cannot, in conscience, poke fun at it anymore.
It's more embarrassing, even disturbing, than funny. Last week's issue, for instance, featured a cover illustration of a curious, Dante's Inferno-style universe-"The New Global Elite"-with you-know-who depicted in the center of it all, looking appropriately cool and distant, surrounded by the names of Bill Gates, Nicolas Sarkozy, Michael Bloomberg, the Dalai Lama, Newsweek investor Warren Buffet, and others in a kind of wheel of world importance.
Open the magazine and there's another picture of Obama reaching out to hundreds of proffered hands; on the next page is Barack in Berlin waving to the global multitudes; and two pages after that we find Michelle Obama looking smart and capable and stylish and-well, you get the idea.
What strikes us, however, is the contrast between the worship of its heroes and the snarky, even juvenile, tone with which Newsweek treats its villains-Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, Phil Gramm, George W. Bush, et al. receive such elegant epithets as "chump," "shopaholic," and "dumbest." Meanwhile, extravagantly affectionate clichés are trotted out for the likes of Edward Kennedy ("That lion can still roar"), cable TV's Rachel Maddow ("Brilliant, ebullient"), and, of course, the aforementioned Obamas, Michelle ("smart, classy, real, fun, responsible") and her husband ("the right man for the right time").
The most revealing word in the entire issue, however, may be found in a brief obituary description of William F. Buckley Jr. See if you can guess the word:
Sure, he was the father of American conservatism, the founder of National Review and the champion of Goldwater and Reagan. But he also had one of the century's most perspicacious, peripatetic minds (and he loved sesquipedalian words).
If you chose "sesquipedalian" because it so perfectly captures the condescending tone of the item, you would be close to the answer. But no, the strategic word is the "but" that begins that second sentence, and informs us that even though Buckley was one of those mouth-breathing, Bible-thumping, cousin-marrying conservatives, he may well have had an IQ that was nearly as high as Newsweek editor Jon Meacham's.
Well, no, not that high. Any editor can transform a moderate-to-liberal weekly news magazine into a teen fanzine for the Loony Left. But it takes a genuine intellect to seize the reins of a respectable (if moribund) franchise in weekly journalism and drive it, swiftly and decisively, into the ground.
Poetry Corner
Claudia Rosett, a SCRAPBOOK friend and occasional contributor to these pages, was like many of us taken aback to hear that great litterateur, Governor Rod 'Effin' Blagojevich of Illinois, citing some lines from Rudyard Kipling's "If" as part of his blustering press statement the week before Christmas. THE SCRAPBOOK muttered a few choice Blagojevichian adjectives at the desecration, but Rosett took the poetical high road, with an update of Kipling:
If . . . Kipling Only Knew If you can keep your job while all about you Are fielding bribes and blaming it on you, If you can duck the Feds while all men doubt you, And bleep-ing show the charges are untrue, If you can fight and not be tired by fighting, Or, being wiretapped, profess surprise, Or argue that there will be no indicting Because it's all a bleep-ing pack of lies. If you can scheme-but never scheme in writing, If you can talk-but not from your home phone, If you can face the press and keep reciting That truth is on your side, though you're alone; If you can bear to hear the bleeps you've spoken Quoted on Fox TV and "Meet the Press" Or watch that Senate seat become a token Of all the things they'd like you to confess If you can just accuse them all of spinning And quote a bit of Kipling on the way And comb your hair and somehow keep on grinning And tell them no one ever paid to play; If you can force them to accept your own rights To publicly refuse this bitter cup, And fight them till you've drained yourself of sound bites, Except the Will to say to them: "Shut up!" If you once walked with Rezko and Obama Or spoke with Jesse Junior and with Rahm If you can overcome this legal drama, If you can show that no one greased your palm If you can take that Senate seat and fill it With someone who will swear you're not a knave Yours is the Land of Lincoln, and yet still it Will have Kipling rolling over in his grave.
To which, we can only add, if you are not already reading the Rosett Report, where these verses first appeared, you should be pointing your web browser without delay to pajamasmedia.com/-claudiarosett.
When You're Here, You're Family
It's not even January and the future first lady is already confronted by a grave dilemma: Cookbook author Ron Douglas is offering Michelle Obama $1 million to publish her favorite family recipes, with 100 percent of the profits going to a charity of her choosing. According to a press release, "Michelle Obama charmed the hearts of Americans with her down-to-earth nature. People are hungry to learn as much about the Obamas as possible. . . . If Michelle is willing to accept the offer, the book will be printed on recycled paper and use soy-based inks to uphold the Obamas' green initiatives."
It sure sounds too good to be true. Maybe it is. As the press release reveals, Ron Douglas is the author of America's Most Wanted Recipes (volumes one and two), which features dishes from such places as the Olive Garden, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Red Lobster, and Applebee's. Not to sound too much like a food snob, but THE SCRAPBOOK is slightly wary about such culinarily questionable associations. Does Michelle Obama really want her recipes published in the same spirit as the Olive Garden's fettuccine Alfredo, Red Lobster's Lobster Fondue, or Applebee's Baby Back Ribs? Considering all the negative publicity the Obamas garnered from their affiliations with Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers, we trust Mrs. Obama will weigh her options-and maybe hold out for an offer from the Food Network instead.
Sentences We Didn't Finish
"I am writing another book about the Middle East because the . . . " (from We Can Have Peace in the Holy Land by Jimmy Carter).
Great Moments in Acknowledgments
"My weblog has remained my primary workspace, along with my weekly column for Scripps Howard News Service and my periodic articles in Esquire. Among the many bloggers, readers and frequent commentators who deserve my special thanks for connecting me to so many sources over the past few years are: 54th Bn CEF, 77gramp77, a517dogg, Al Alborn, Alicescheshirecat, Allen, Andrew in Baghdad, Andrew Sullivan . . . " (Great Powers: America and the World After Bush by Thomas P.M. Barnett).