Gandhi turned himself into a ribcage in a loincloth. The IRA's Bobby Sands starved himself for 66 days until he died in a Belfast prison. But hunger- striking, like other demanding disciplines, isn't what it used to be.
Last week, The Hill reported that Kathryn Cameron Porter, wife of Rep. John Porter of Illinois, was embarking on a three-week hunger strike to protest Turkish oppression of the Kurds. There was, however, a wee, little qualifier: Porter "has been eating one meal a day because she has diabetes."
Never mind that this is akin to a celibate monk's escaping to the local bordello once a month for relaxation. For today's hunger-strikers, it's the thought that counts. And Mrs. Porter is well within the bounds of recent practice. Jesse Jackson, who's been known to call hunger strikes one day and show up at banquets the next, invented tag-team striking a few years back. After refusing solids on behalf of Haitian immigrants or California grape workers, Jackson then allows somebody else -- somebody as hungry for publicity as Jackson is for food -- to take over his fast. Jackson calls this "passing the cross" down "the chain of suffering."
Fellow waif Al Sharpton once promised to go without food after being arrested for blocking traffic on behalf of hoaxstress Tawana Brawley. But a jail guard revealed that while Sharpton had taken the unusual measure of skipping several meals, including barbecued chicken, "He told us it's a good time to lose weight. But he's not really on a fast." Likewise, NBA center Olden Polynice, also protesting the detainment of HIV-infected Haitian immigrants, vowed a hunger strike that would allow him to eat only on game days. That lasted until his team got a five-day rest.
A modest proposal for the next Gandhi wannabe: Announce a "virtual hunger strike." Cut down to just two meals and two snacks a day -- as an ironic homage to protesters of yore. Then once a week call a press conference at which you release computer-generated simulations of what you would look like if you had actually stopped eating. After all, it's the sanctimony that counts.