The SCRAPBOOK is no great fan of secretary of energy Bill Richardson, who probably deserves everything he got last week when he was keel-hauled by the Senate Armed Services Committee. But was that outburst by Robert Byrd really necessary?
Byrd, the senior Democrat in the Senate, is famed for inserting "classical" references into his soliloquies, and was true to form. He started by railing against Richardson in a soundbite that made the evening news: "I think it's a rather sad story, that you had a bright and brilliant career that you had never -- that you would never again receive the support of the Senate of the United States for any office to which you might be appointed. It's beyond -- you have squandered your treasure, and I am sorry."
But Byrd was just getting warmed up, and the rest of his remarks have gone unreported. Here's how he found his opening:
BYRD: Mr. Secretary, I find it to be a bit ironic that you found out some things on March 28, I believe. That was the date you mentioned. March 28?
RICHARDSON: No, senator. March 28 is the date that the FBI believes that the disks were last reported.
BYRD: It was a bit ironic that it recalled to my memory something which really has no bearing here. That on March 28 in 193 A.D., Didius Julianus purchased the throne of the Roman Empire at an auction. As I recall, he paid 62 hundred and 50 whatever your coins were called at that time to each solider. The soldiers were conducting the auction. This was on March 28th, 193 A.D. Is it me perhaps [yes, Senator, it's you], or is there reason for thinking of that date in light of what you've said? Because Didius Julianus, one of the wealthy senators, never enjoyed being ruler of the Empire after he had bought it at an auction. He held the Empire for 66 days, from March 28 until June the 2nd, on which date he was escorted by a Roman soldier into the Roman baths and executed. Perhaps we ought to seek the penalty that one has to pay either for an act that he has done or for having failed to act.
Yes, a little learning is a dangerous thing. Perhaps Richardson should have prepared himself with that "classic" comeback: "I know now how the Philistines felt when Sampson came after them: slain by the jawbone of an ass."