Shriver vs. Begala? Just You Wait.
When Tropic Thunder, the recent Ben Stiller comedy, opened at the box office in August, Timothy Shriver, chairman and CEO of the Special Olympics, demonstrated at its Hollywood premiere and wrote an angry piece for CNN.com protesting the movie's "offensive" use of the word "retard." He complained to a popular blog about Tropic Thunder's "humiliating portrayal of people with intellectual disabilities," and lamented in the Washington Post that "people with intellectual disabilities . . . [are] such an easy target that many people don't realize whom they are making fun of when they use the word 'retard.' Most people just think it's funny. 'Stupid, idiot, moron, retard.' Ha, ha, ha."
Ha, ha, ha, indeed. So THE SCRAPBOOK was a little surprised a couple of weeks ago when Paul Begala, the Democratic publicist and TV personality, referred to President Bush on CNN as "a high-functioning moron." Strong stuff, in THE SCRAPBOOK's view, coming from the co-author (with James Carville) of Buck Up, Suck Up . . . and Come Back When You Foul Up (2003)-and of course, demeaning both to George W. Bush and "people with intellectual disabilities." Wait till Timothy Shriver, chairman and CEO of the Special Olympics, hears about this!
Well, THE SCRAPBOOK has waited, and waited, and waited a little longer, and to our mystification, Timothy Shriver has had nothing to say about Paul Begala and his "high-functioning moron" crack. Sure, the object of Begala's contempt was President Bush, but there's no escaping the fact that he garnered a laugh at Bush's expense by humiliating "people with intellectual disabilities"-or "morons," in Paul Begala's lexicon.
THE SCRAPBOOK may be many things, but cynical isn't one of them, so we're sure Chairman Shriver's unaccountable silence has nothing to do with the fact that he's the son of Eunice Kennedy Shriver, younger brother of Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger, and a prominent Democrat. We cannot imagine that Chairman Shriver would countenance such cruelty just because the victim of Begala's insensitivity is a Republican! We can only guess that Chairman Shriver somehow missed the "high-functioning moron" attack on CNN.
Now that he's been notified, we eagerly await his next op-ed, not to mention the picketing of CNN's studios.
The Descent of 'Newsweek'
The next time you stumble across a snarky, condescending, sneering, and semi-informed essay in Newsweek-which is to say, the next time you open the pages of Newsweek-and you feel instructed and rebuked, THE SCRAPBOOK suggests you remember the name Kurt Soller. He's the author of a snarky, condescending, sneering, and semi-informed piece in the current issue entitled "The Man Who Would Be King." It's about an 82-year-old Texan named Paul Emery Washington who, if George Washington had become our monarch rather than president in 1789, would be the American king.
Why? Because, as Soller explains, "Paul Emery Washington is a descendant of George Washington" and, as he mentions a few paragraphs later, there are "nearly 8,000 living descendants of Washington" abroad in the land.
To which THE SCRAPBOOK can only respond, huh? There was a time when every schoolboy knew that George Washington, in fact, didn't have any descendants, but that time has passed. He and Martha had a happy 40-year marriage, but no children-perhaps because a youthful bout of smallpox, followed by tuberculosis, might have left the Father of Our Country unable to father children.
Widowed when she married George, Martha had two children from her previous marriage, who were raised by the Washingtons, and two orphaned grandchildren and a nephew grew up at Mount Vernon. So while there are people who may claim a collateral family connection to George Washington, there has never been anyone at any time who is or was a "descendant of George Washington."
A small matter, perhaps, but no smaller than the snarky, condescending, sneering, and semi-informed coverage of John McCain and Sarah Palin in Newsweek. If THE SCRAPBOOK maintained anything like Newsweek's "Conventional Wisdom Watch," the arrow would be pointing resolutely downward on Newsweek.
Never Having to Say You're Sorry
Here's a CNN.com headline from last week: "Murtha apologizes for calling western Pennsylvania 'racist.' " The story then runs: "Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha, a supporter of Barack Obama's presidential bid, apologized Thursday for calling western Pennsylvania 'a racist area.' 'While we cannot deny that race is a factor in this election, I believe we've been able to look beyond race these past few months, and that voters today are concerned with the policy differences of our two candidates and their vision for the future of our great country,' he said in a statement issued by his office.
" 'Senator Obama has shown sound judgment and has presented us with a change from the failed policies of George Bush and John McCain. I believe he will win both Pennsylvania and the White House.' "
Spot the apology? Neither did we.
Hard Case Court
There THE SCRAPBOOK was, enjoying its morning coffee and flipping through Supreme Court orders-just another day at the office-when up pops the Court's denial of cert to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. The case involved standards of probable cause in a drug bust. Chief Justice John Roberts dissented, but he did so in an unusual way: He decided to write it in the style of a hardboiled novel. Here's how it starts:
North Philly, May 4, 2001. Officer Sean Devlin, Narcotics Strike Force, was working the morning shift. Undercover surveillance. The neighborhood? Tough as a three-dollar steak. Devlin knew. Five years on the beat, nine months with the Strike Force. He'd made fifteen, twenty drug busts in the neighborhood. Devlin spotted him: a lone man on the corner. Another approached. Quick exchange of words. Cash handed over; small objects handed back. Each man then quickly on his own way. Devlin knew the guy wasn't buying bus tokens. He radioed a description and Officer Stein picked up the buyer. Sure enough: three bags of crack in the guy's pocket. Head downtown and book him. Just another day at the office.
Remember: The above passage was written by the chief justice of the United States, not Mickey Spillane, Elmore Leonard, or Donald Westlake. Let's hope the chief uses his off hours to finish what looks to be a crackling caper. He's extremely talented.
Naturally, Barack Obama voted against his confirmation.
Messiah Watch (cont'd)
"Nobody seemed to consider that [Obama] sweats less because he's in such good shape. It's obvious he's an athlete from his physical grace alone. . . . As for Obama, he does move like a silky small forward, which is part of his appeal. I witnessed a showcase of his physical skills upon our arrival in Lansing, as he executed the perfect plane dismount while waving at the Secret Service guys." (Peter Moore, Men's Health, November 2008)
Sentences We Didn't Finish
"Are we witnessing the reemergence of the far right as a power in American politics? Has John McCain, inadvertently perhaps, become the midwife of a new movement built around fear, xenophobia and anger? McCain has clearly . . . " (E. J. Dionne Jr., Washington Post, October 15)