This month's issue of The Wrestler magazine features a long, engaging interview with "Ivan Koloff" (born Jim Perras). Ten years ago Mr. Koloff figured prominently in a WEEKLY STANDARD cover story, Paul Cantor's "Pro Wrestling and the End of History" (October 4, 1999). Describing wrestling's tradition of creating heels to suit America's conscious and subconscious fears, Cantor called Koloff the greatest villain in the history of the sport.
Koloff's character--a Communist no-goodnik--loomed large during wrestling's Cold War years. In 1971, at Madison Square Garden, he defeated fan-favorite Bruno Sammartino, ending the great champion's seven-and-a-half year reign in the then WWWF. Koloff went on to lead a stable of other "Russian" villains. His most notable protégé was his "cousin," Nikita Koloff, who, billed as "The Russian Nightmare," cut a wide swath through the sport.
With the Cold War won, THE SCRAPBOOK is happy to report that Ivan Koloff's quintessentially American life seems to have turned out quite well. Born on a farm in Ontario, Canada, Koloff, now 67, lives with his wife in North Carolina. A recovering drug addict and alcoholic, he occasionally still wrestles. He's also a born-again Christian, who runs his own ministry. It was Nikita (who is, of course, neither Russian, nor related to Ivan) who led Koloff to Christ.
"Nikita was the one who introduced me to the Lord and the gift He left for us," Koloff explains. "People ask if we're related. I say not by blood, but through the blood of Jesus. Nikita is a soldier for Christ and a great example for me to follow in his footsteps."
In the course of the interview, The Wrestler asked Koloff about the praise Cantor heaped on him in THE WEEKLY STANDARD. Koloff noted that it's not the first time people have mentioned Cantor's article to him.
Cantor, a professor in the University of Virginia's department of English, jokingly (we think) tells THE SCRAPBOOK that this is "perhaps the culmination of my career as a cited academic."
What's more, says Cantor, he and Koloff actually met.
He was here in Charlottesville at the local Wal-Mart promoting one of his born-again Christian books, and signing them for kids. I had no idea he was there, but as always was scouring the Wal-Mart for cheap DVDs. I talked briefly to Koloff, and told him that I'd seen him wrestle Sammartino at the Boston Garden in the 1970s. It was early afternoon: he said: "Come back around 8, when the little kids are gone. We can talk honestly then." Ever the pro, he didn't want to disillusion any kids [by not staying in character]. So I went home and got a copy of THE WEEKLY STANDARD article for him and came back to give it to him. I apologized to him in advance for the "Lenin on steroids" phrase--fortunately he seemed to think that I was worried about the "Lenin" part, not the "steroids" part.
Cantor tells THE SCRAPBOOK that he's got a contract with University Press of Kentucky for a book of his essays on pop culture, and the wrestling essay should be in it. We'll alert you when it reaches the bookstores.
Thugs in Copenhagen
Private space travel can't come soon enough for THE SCRAPBOOK, as we would like to resign our membership in the "world community"--which disgraced itself at the Copenhagen climate meetings that ended last Friday.
There were many low points at the U.N.'s anti-capitalism propaganda-fest, but the nadir for THE SCRAPBOOK came when Zimbabwean tyrant Robert Mugabe--responsible for the deaths and immiseration of thousands of his countrymen--took the stage. Really, the man is not morally fit to scrub the tires of the many limousines that shuttled the global-warming VIP delegates around Copenhagen.
According to the State Department's most recent human rights report, Mugabe's rule in 2008 featured many
killings by paramilitary forces. . . . For example, on April 5, [Mugabe's ZANU-PF party] youths and war veterans killed Tapiwa Mbwanda, MDC [the opposition party] organizing secretary for Hurungwe East. According to Human Rights Watch (HRW), four people were arrested in connection with the murder but were released without charge after a local ZANU-PF leader demanded their release. . . . There were killings by party supporters during the year. For example, on June 7, a mob of ZANU-PF supporters killed Dadirai Chipiro, the wife of Patson Chipiro, a MDC local chairman in Mhondoro, by cutting off her hand and both feet, dragging her body into the kitchen of their home, setting it on fire, and burning her alive. On June 16, ZANU-PF supporters attacked the home of Harare's Deputy Mayor and MDC Councilor for Ward 42, Emmanuel Chiroto, and took away his wife, Abigail. On June 18, her burned body was found on a nearby farm. HRW reported that police refused to take action to investigate the killing. . . . Despite the nearly 200 killings resulting from political violence, there were no prosecutions or convictions in any of the cases. . . . There were no developments in previously reported killings from 2006 or 2007.
Unsurprisingly, Zimbabwe's GDP per capita of $200 is among the lowest in the world--not that this destitution impinges on the Big Man's lifestyle. An entourage of 59 accompanied Mugabe to the climate summit, including First Lady Amai Grace, notorious for a reported $100,000-plus two-hour shopping spree in Paris last year.
While she was no doubt laying waste to the high-end boutiques of Copenhagen, Mugabe was -haranguing the delegates:
Why is the guilty north not showing the same fundamentalist spirit it exhibits in our developing countries on human rights matters on this more menacing question of climate change? Where is its commitment to retributive justice which we see it applying on other issues? Where is sanctions for climate change offenders? When a country spits at Kyoto Protocol, by seeking to retreat from its dictates, or simply by refusing to accede to it, is it not undermining the rule of global law? When countries spew hazardous emissions for selfish consumptionist ends, in the process threatening land masses and atmospheric space of smaller and weaker nations are they not guilty of gross human rights violations? We raise these questions not out of spite or vindictiveness, but out of concern for our very endangered livelihoods. When these capitalist gods of carbon burp and belch their dangerous emissions, it is we, the lesser mortals of the developing sphere who gasp, starve, sink and eventually die.
When Robert Mugabe talks about "our very endangered livelihoods," you can be sure he is using the royal "we." He went on to whine about "illegal sanctions unilaterally imposed on [Zimbabwe] by the west"--because of his many murderous deeds. Thanks to "these undeserved sanctions, we have only been able to draw a mere US$1 million in the last three years from the Global Environment Fund."
Frankly, that was $1 million too much. As we said, include us out of any community that gives such a man a platform--or any money. </π> <β><π>Perfidious Reagan
A quarter of a century later, Ronald Reagan's invasion of Grenada and overthrow of the Communist government there is still paying psychic dividends. Reason magazine's Michael Moynihan draws our attention to the sad, sad story of a Swedish radical, denied her share of a literary estate because of American perfidy and that cowboy in the White House.
Writes Moynihan:
Perhaps you have seen (or, heaven forbid, read) one of those ubiquitous Stieg Larsson mystery novels, in which a brilliant feminist hacker, in concert with a brilliant left-wing journalist modelled on the author, skulk around Stockholm fighting fascists and solving murders. The books have been massive bestsellers in America and Europe, making Larsson perhaps the richest author in Scandinavia. Slight problem, though, is that Larsson, a chubby chain smoker, died a few years back and his only known will, written in the 1970s when he was a cash-poor revolutionary, bequeathed his entire estate to the Umeå chapter of Sweden's communist party. In other words, if you read Larsson you support communism! Well, not exactly. A court found that the old will was not legally binding, and reverted control of the estimated $20 million ($10 million when the Swedes are done with it) estate to Larsson's father and brother. But Larsson had a longtime girlfriend, fellow political radical Eva Gabrielsson, who wants a piece of the action, resulting in a long, acriminous court trial.
Where does Grenada enter the picture? Well, in an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Gabrielsson explains why she and the late Stieg Larsson never married (which disqualifies her under Swedish law from a share of the estate):
"We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada," the longtime leftist said recently over coffee. She and Larsson had visited the Caribbean island nation a few years before in support of its left-wing government. After the U.S. invasion led to the regime's overthrow, the couple decided to go back and investigate the situation, so marriage plans were put "on hold," said Gabrielsson, now 56.
One more reason to like Ronald Reagan.</π> <π> Sentences We Didn't Finish
"So what are we to believe: that huge numbers of British and American scientists have entered into a conspiracy to dupe the world on climate change? Why? What would they stand to gain? . . . " (Tim Rutten, Los Angeles Times, December 12).</π> <β><π>The Joy of . . . Eco-Sex? Arriving in bookstores this spring and just in time for the 40th anniversary of Earth Day is a new book that promises to help reduce your carbon footprint while increasing your carnal pleasure--a book that will allow you and your loved one to say, "last night, the earth moved, and in a positive, environmentally friendly direction."
We kid you not. It's called Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable by Stefanie Iris Weiss. Described by Ten Speed Press as "the first book-length guide for greening your sex life, Eco-Sex is perfect for young urbanites stocking their sexual toolbox, people with chemical concerns, green and light-green shoppers, singles and couples looking to reinvigorate their passion, and budding ecosexuals everywhere."
Normally THE SCRAPBOOK would use this as an opportunity for cheap puns and double-entendres. But with a description like the one above, there's not much else to say, though we do have some concerns. Frankly, we didn't know there was even a distinction between "green and light-green shoppers" and the term "budding ecosexuals" makes us a bit wary. As for "urbanites stocking their sexual toolbox," well, we'll just leave it at that.