Last year, alleged ex-intern Monica Lewinsky allegedly took out a Valentine's Day ad in the classified section of the Washington Post, allegedly meant for her alleged presidential paramour, Bill Clinton, with whom she was allegedly having an affair. Addressed to "HANDSOME" and signed, coyly, "M," the ad consisted of a quote from Romeo and Juliet -- well known to Miss Lewinsky's generation as a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. This Valentine's Day, alert reader Nicholas Dujmovic was glancing through the Post classifieds and found this sonnet to "SCHMUCKO" from one M, apparently an intern of the Elizabethan age:
When Schmucko swears that he is made of truth, I do believe him, though I know he lies, That he might think me some untutor'd youth, Unlearned in the world's falso subleties.
Thus vainly thinking that I think him young, Although I know his days are past the best, Simply he credits my false-speaking tongue: On both side thus is simple truth supprest.
But wherefore say I not I am his sl*t? And wherefore says he not he is a creep? O, lust's best habit lies in sleazy smut, And office lust lusts not a probe too deep:
Therefore I lie with him, and he with me, And in our faults by lies we flatter'd be.