In the current New Republic, the editors have this to say about Mitt Romney: "He's unbearably unctuous - the Arnold Horseshack of the race, furiously waving his hand to grab the teacher's attention." An intriguing reference to the suckup student on one of my favorite sitcoms from the 1970s, Welcome Back, Kotter. But if Romney is Horseshack, who are the other Sweathogs? Giuliani as Vinnie Barbarino? Barack Obama as Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington? Bill Richardson as Juan Epstein? John McCain as the vice principal, Mr. Woodman! Please don't tell me Hillary is Julie Kotter. She is, isn't she? (This would then make Bill Clinton Gabe Kaplan.)