Ever since offering a million-dollar bounty last October for dirt on Republican officials, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has vowed to defend Bill Clinton against the politics of personal destruction -- even if he had to destroy people's personal lives to do it. But his highly anticipated Flynt Report -- a compendium of politicians' indiscretions provided by fee-seeking snitches -- seemed perennially delayed. Depending on when you caught Flynt or his deputies, they flip-flopped on every detail from the report's release date to the nature of the scandals it would reveal. The only certainty, it seemed, was, as Flynt's chief investigator Dan Moldea said in January, "This is going to get dark, and it's going to get mean. We are not messing around anymore."
Yes, they are. The Flynt Report finally landed in THE SCRAPBOOK's mailbox last week in a brown paper bag. Half the 84-page "report" consists of self-congratulation. There is a 16-page discussion of Flynt's media treatment. There are eight pages of testimonials from fans, including a mash note from Geraldo Rivera. As for scoops, besides bombshells such as the revelation that Richard Scaife funds right-wing interests, Flynt has stitched together sloppy clip jobs lifted from previously published scandals (J. C. Watts has illegitimate children, Republican backbencher Ken Calvert once got caught with a hooker) and a handful of uncorroborated charges (one Republican is rumored to have been photographed in the embrace of a Mexican prostitute, "an elusive photo, if it exists"). Flynt purportedly spent $ 4 million on his "investigation." He could have subscribed to Nexis and saved a lot of money.
In January, THE WEEKLY STANDARD's Matt Labash speculated that Flynt was bluffing. In the spirit of the self-aggrandizing pornographer, THE SCRAPBOOK is pleased to report that we were right. The tipoff: Flynt's media-hoax track record. In 1983, he claimed to have an audiotape that proved government agents had threatened John DeLorean's life if DeLorean didn't buy cocaine in their sting operation. Flynt later admitted his tape was as "fake as a $ 3 bill." That same year, he came up empty after claiming he possessed sex tapes involving members of Congress and President Reagan (not with each other).
George magazine has christened Flynt one of the "20 Most Fascinating Men in Politics," so Flynt will likely keep playing his games. In his report, he promises a book detailing further "revelations." A more appropriate response would be the one he gave reporters after the DeLorean scam: "Yes, this is a publicity gimmick, and I thank God you all fell for it."