In the nether-precincts of the Internet, Joycelyn Elders -- hired by Bill Clinton for her candor, then fired by him for candidly suggesting that schoolchildren be taught the joys of onanism -- is a great heroine. The " JackinWorld" website, for example, is "dedicated to former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders." JackinWorld is the self-described "ultimate masturbation resource." It includes illustrated "Jackin How-Tos" for boys and girls. Both of these, um, selfhelp manuals, incidentally, were recently accorded full constitutional protection by the Supreme Court's landmark Communications Decency Act decision. Just as the founders intended, we're sure.
Anyway, it turns out Joycelyn Elders admires the Internet as much as the Internet admires her. She now appears in all her glory in Nervemag, a new webzine about sexuality. Her maiden essay, "The Dreaded 'M' Word," is a thousandword hymn to the "universal sexual practice of self-pleasure." It " cultivates in us a humble elegance," she says. It "just may render heavenly contentment in those who dare."
For instance. Dr. Elders reports that she has "an enlightened friend" who has wisely "taught her preschool-aged daughter about her anatomy." One day, the mother and child looked at themselves in the mirror together. Then, in the evening, friends came to dinner. Dad asked the little girl what she'd done during the day. "Of course," Elders writes, she told him the truth: "She and mommy looked at their vaginas." But "hers was prettier," the girl proudly announced; "Want to see?"
Sure, there are "privacy" issues raised by this story, the good doctor acknowledges. But the overriding moral is: "It is never okay to shame children for natural inquisitiveness or behavior." Because "that shame lasts forever."
It's really too bad Elders has already been fired, because it would be a pleasure to see her fired again.