Say what you will about Georgia’s Fourth Congressional District—DeKalb County, for the most part, just east of Atlanta—it has certainly blessed us with some interesting representatives. The incumbent, a 55-year-old Buddhist Democrat named Hank Johnson, was preceded by Cynthia McKinney, the leading congressional conspiracy theorist of her day, who was once celebrated in the pages of the Washington Post for threatening to assault 69-year-old Henry Hyde, R-Ill., on the floor of the House.
Lately, however, Hank Johnson has achieved an enduring fame, in the Internet era, that congressmen of yesteryear could only dream about. It began on March 25 when Admiral Robert Willard, chief of the U.S. Pacific Command, was testifying before the House Armed Services Committee. A proposal to post several thousand more U.S. Marines (and their dependents) on Guam—an Obama administration initiative, by the way—came under discussion.
As the millions of viewers on YouTube who have savored the exchange can attest, Congressman Johnson expressed his concerns to Admiral Willard in decidedly unique fashion.
Johnson: This is an island that, at its widest level is, what, 12 miles from shore to shore? And at its smallest level or smallest location, it’s seven miles between one shore and the other. Is that correct? Willard: I don’t have the exact dimensions; but to your point, sir, I think Guam is a small island.
Congressman Johnson then went on to speculate about the square mileage of Guam—212, as it happens—which led, in turn, to his basic argument:
Johnson: Yes, my fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize. Willard: We don’t anticipate that. The Guam population is, I think currently, about 175,000—and again, with 8,000 Marines and their families, it’s an addition of about 25,000 more into the population. Johnson: And also, things like the environment, the sensitive areas of the environment—coral reefs and those kinds of things. And I know that, you know, lots of people don’t like to think about that, but you know, we didn’t think about global warming, either.
As readers can imagine, this is one of those videos that went “viral,” and subjected Johnson to such universal derision and merriment that his office was obliged, later that day, to issue a “clarification” in which it was explained that his theory about Guam tipping over and capsizing from an abundance of Marines was an “obvious” joke.
But was it? It is difficult to read his words (or watch as he utters them) without drawing the conclusion that they said precisely what he meant, and that Congressman Johnson believes islands are something like inflatable rafts, prone to tipping over—or even sinking, if inhabitants should jump up and down.
Three things impress The Scrapbook about this vignette of life in official Washington. First, we are frankly in awe of Admiral Willard’s ability to maintain a straight face when confronted with a prime specimen of congressional lunacy. Readers need to watch the video on YouTube to appreciate fully the pregnant pause between Congressman Johnson’s line about Guam tipping over and capsizing and Admiral Willard’s deadpan response: “We don’t anticipate that.” That’s military discipline.
Second, we were equally impressed by the fact that, when Admiral Willard admitted that he did not know the exact square mileage of Guam “but I can certainly supply it to you if you like,” Congressman Johnson leaned back in his chair, and responded, “Yes.” The Scrapbook asks: Is there no one on Congressman Johnson’s staff who can look up such things in the office almanac? Does the congressman really think that the United States commander in the Pacific has nothing better to do with his time than perform insulting clerical tasks for an ignorant legislator?
Which brings us to our third, and not so humorous, point. Guam is an American possession because Marines liberated it from the Japanese during World War II (1,747 killed and 6,053 wounded in two and a half weeks of pitched battles), and it has remained a strategic naval outpost ever since. It is, of course, unlikely that additional Marines and their families will cause Guam to tip over, or cause damage to nearby coral reefs, but Hank Johnson’s questions reflect an underlying attitude toward our armed forces that is both bumptious and infuriating. The presence of U.S. Marines on Guam—apart from the boost they will give the local economy—is an asset, not a liability. The arrival of men and women prepared to defend the United States with their lives is not a malignant invasion of Guam—like the brown tree snakes that have devastated its ecology—but a blessing for which all Americans, including the electors of Georgia’s Fourth Congressional District, can be grateful. ♦
Green‘peace’
One of the climate-change extremists at Greenpeace showed his true colors (not green and not very peaceful) in an April 1 posting at the Greenpeace Climate Rescue blog (weblog.greenpeace.org) that, alas, was not an April Fool’s joke:
Pressuring politicians on climate change is not working. We saw that in Copenhagen. Three months later, we also know why. Which is why the global climate movement now must do course-correction. We need to shift targets and go after the real termites that hollowed out and imploded Copenhagen. Not Barosso, Obama or Wen Jiabao, but the real obstacles to the climate deal this planet deserves and demands. The oil and gas mafia running loose in New Delhi. The coal magnates that have Canberra by the short and curlies. The petrochemical giants that have placed a firm jackboot on the EU’s throat. The fossil fools and nuclear lobbyists that have Washington DC on speed-dial. We need to hit them where it hurts most, by any means necessary: through the power of our votes, our taxes, our wallets, and more. . . . Emerging battle-bruised from the disaster zone of Copenhagen, but ever-hopeful, a rider on horseback brought news of darkness and light: “The politicians have failed. Now it’s up to us. We must break the law to make the laws we need: laws that are supposed to protect society, and protect our future. Until our laws do that, screw being climate lobbyists. Screw being climate activists. It’s not working. We need an army of climate outlaws.” . . . If you’re one of those who have spent their lives undermining progressive climate legislation, bankrolling junk science, fueling spurious debates around false solutions, and cattle-prodding democratically-elected governments into submission, then hear this: We know who you are. We know where you live. We know where you work. And we be many, but you be few.
Nothing like cool, scientific discourse from the climate change community. The author, Gene Hashmi, is the communications director of Greenpeace India. You’ll be pleased to know that a superior “clarified” his remarks as follows: It would be “very easy to misconstrue that line, take it out of context and suggest it means something wholly different from the practice of peaceful civil disobedience. . . . Anyone who knows Gene knows he’s an entirely peaceful guy.” Entirely. ♦
Nuclear Footnote
In his review of the Obama administration’s Nuclear Posture Review on page 24, Michael Anton makes the point that the Nuclear Posture Review did not end up as bad as it might have been. But Anton sends this footnote to The Scrapbook:
This is to distinguish “bad” from “vapid.” In documents like this, one must expect and be prepared to endure pronouncements such as this: “The United States seeks to bolster the non-proliferation regime by reversing the nuclear ambitions of North Korea and Iran.” Really? How? By “demonstrat[ing] that we are prepared to engage multilaterally and bilaterally with these states to arrive at negotiated solutions that provide for their political and economic integration with the international community, while verifiably confirming they are not pursuing nuclear weapons capabilities.” Oh. ♦
‘Despite’?
‘Corin Redgrave, 70, the scion of a powerful acting dynasty who shone equally in light comedy and Shakespearean tragedy and who, despite excelling as authority figures, was a committed Marxist, died April 6 at his home in London” ( Washington Post, April 7). ♦
Sentences We Didn’t Finish
‘A lot of people have asked, why is it you seem so calm? And what I’ve tried to say often—and a lot of times this gets discounted in the press—is that the experience of having traveled throughout this country; having learned the stories of ordinary folks who are doing extraordinary things in their communities, in their neighborhoods; having met all the people who put so much energy and effort into our campaign; having seen the ups and downs and having seen how Washington was always the last to get what was going on, always the last to get the news—what that told me was that if we were willing to not do what was expedient, and not do what was convenient, and not try to govern based on the polls today or tomorrow or the next day, but rather based on a vision for how we can rebuild this country in a way that works for everybody—if we are focused on making sure that there are ladders of opportunity for people to continue to strive and achieve the American Dream and that that’s accessible to all, not just some—if we kept our eye on what sort of future do we want for our kids and our grandkids so that 20 years from now and 30 years from now people look back on this generation the way we look back on the Greatest Generation and say to ourselves, boy, they made some tough decisions, they got through some tough times, but, look, we now have a clean energy economy; look, our schools are revitalized; look, our health care system works for every single American—imagine how tough that was and how much resistance they met from the special interests . . . ” (Barack Obama’s 304-word sentence at a DNC fundraiser in Boston, April 1, as transcribed by Andrew Malcolm of the Los Angeles Times. Not to be confused with Obama’s taking 17 minutes and 2,500 words to avoid giving an honest one-word answer—“yes”—to a woman in Charlotte on April 2 who asked him if it was a “wise decision to add more taxes to us” with health care reform.) ♦