While looking for an apartment in D.C. on craigslist, I stumbled upon one advertisement for an opening in a "progressive group house" in Adams Morgan. It's not a parody, but it is beyond parody. If you're "a woman of color who is vegetarian friendly" you just might be lucky enough to live with housemates whose "opinions about the issues of the day - as well as spirituality, religion, vegetarianism - are diverse, which leads to wonderfully thoughtful conversations" -- if they do say so themselves. If that didn't already have you sold:
We have a communal kitchen. This means that all food is available for anyone, unless it is marked for a special occasion (reserved food is rare). We share meals together every Sunday and sometimes during the week, but people have different schedules and there is no required meal time on weekdays or anything like that. There are consensus based house meetings, held twice a month, where we make sure that everyone is comfortable with the way that the house is going. Every voice matters in the house meetings.
Quoth a fellow member of the freedom-loving community in search of housing: "Sounds like hell." The full ad:
$930 Room in progressive group house (Adams Morgan) ... THE ATMOSPHERE The house is vibrant, with people coming and going throughout the day. We regularly host people who are in town for social justice-type activities Our opinions about the issues of the day - as well as spirituality, religion, vegetarianism - are diverse, which leads to wonderfully thoughtful conversations about what is going on around us and what we can do about it. Everyone in the house is in one way or another working towards our visions for a more just world. We have a communal kitchen. This means that all food is available for anyone, unless it is marked for a special occasion (reserved food is rare). We share meals together every Sunday and sometimes during the week, but people have different schedules and there is no required meal time on weekdays or anything like that. There are consensus based house meetings, held twice a month, where we make sure that everyone is comfortable with the way that the house is going. Every voice matters in the house meetings. THE CURRENT HOUSEMATES There are four males and one female currently living in the house. Two of the people in the house are people of color. There is one couple. We are two vegetarians, three omnivores. We rotate Sunday night cook nights where we make a vegetarian dinner for everyone in the house. We like hanging out with each other occasionally but also do our own thing. We come from all different backgrounds, both culturally and geographically, and are interesting in maintaining and expanding that diversity with the new roommate. FUTURE HOUSEMATE Preferred roommate is a woman of color who is vegetarian friendly (but meat eaters are OK; veg friendly just means respectful of vegetarians). However, people of all walks of life will be considered if they seem like a good fit. We are especially seeking someone who has experienced and understands the pitfalls of group house life, and has ideas for making it a great place for themselves and others. More than anything else we want clear healthy communicators - keeping each other in touch with what's going on in our lives and our heads, and general upkeep of the house. We'd like to keep it a clean house but sometimes succeed at that more than other times.
I imagine the more contentious consensus-based house meetings look something like this protest from February at NYU: