Lamb Among Wolves
To the long list of insipid innovations that cable television news has inflicted upon us--sound effects, hysterical coverage of the weather, Chris Matthews--we can now add the "lightning round." It was on display last week when the Democratic presidential candidates gathered to debate on an MSNBC stage set that looked like Jor-El's hideaway from Superman: The Movie.
In the lightning round, a fidgety moderator asks the candidate a loaded question and then forces him (or her--especially her) to answer in 30 seconds. The lightning round is disarming in its insouciance: Gone, at last, is any pretense on the part of television journalists that they aim to deal in anything more complicated than soundbites and the clipped, misleading slogans of an advertising copywriter. The next time you hear a TV journalist use the phrase "in depth," remember the "lightning round."
It does no good to fret about this sort of thing any longer--to cast our gaze heavenward and wonder rhetorically what the ghosts of Ed Murrow and Walter Cronkite (wait--is he still alive?) would have thought to see their beloved medium of television news brought so low. Yet the argument that TV journalism is irredeemably stupid and corrupt would be easier to sustain if we didn't have C‑SPAN and C‑SPAN2.
C‑SPAN has no sound effects, no toothsome, grinning stars slathered in pancake makeup, no 30-second time frames, no lightning rounds. It's the goal of C-SPAN to remove all such artifices and simply allow politics and politicians to play themselves out in full view and at their own pace, so the public can see them for what they are, for better or worse.
To a large extent, this inspired innovation was the idea of one man: Brian Lamb, C-SPAN's founder and chairman. Last week President Bush selected Lamb to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The White House statement read: "His dedication to a transparent political system and the free flow of ideas has enriched and strengthened our democracy."
We couldn't have said it better, and indeed there aren't many people--certainly in journalism--of whom it could be said at all. Congratulations to a worthy recipient of the nation's highest civilian honor.
The Dictator and the Supermodel
The great tradition of tyrants inviting credulous celebrities to visit their domain and admire the trains running on time is alive and well in the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela, THE SCRAPBOOK is pleased to observe. In recent months, actors Kevin Spacey, Danny Glover, and Sean Penn have made the journey down to Caracas and, as expected, returned home to Beverly Hills to excoriate the United States and extol the virtues of their dictator-host, Hugo Chávez.
These junkets have a certain sameness about them, we regret to note: President Chávez will engage, say, Sean Penn in wide-ranging conversation at the presidential palace for, oh, three or four hours, then offer a quick tour of a nearby clinic, or maybe a youth center, followed by Penn's obligatory praise for Venezuelan medicine. A few days later Penn--or Spacey, or Glover--will appear on the Late Show with David Letterman, or The Daily Show, to describe the Venezuelan Miracle and joke about George W. Bush.
If it isn't the late Billy Carter in Libya, or Jane Fonda in North Vietnam, it's the Rev. Jesse Jackson in Havana, and the cycle goes on. But THE SCRAPBOOK was excited to notice that Chávez's latest A-list pilgrim was supermodel Naomi Campbell, who flew to Caracas last week, spent three or four hours in wide-ranging talks at the presidential palace, and toured a housing project, followed by a press conference.
"I'm marveled, in only 24 hours here," she said, "to see all the love that is reflected in social programs that are extended especially to the women and children of this country." After which President Chávez revealed that she had inquired of him during their interview whether "the [American] empire is going to fall."
THE SCRAPBOOK can guess the answer, but cannot hide our disappointment. For while Naomi Campbell is, undeniably, a supermodel, she is probably better known to the public in recent years for her penchant for throwing common household appliances--telephones, BlackBerrys, mobile phones--at her servants, or beating them about the head with other labor-saving devices, yielding blood, stitches, criminal charges on two continents, community service, and jail.
So for one glorious moment, we're ashamed to admit, we imagined Ms. Campbell taking umbrage at some remark of President Chávez's, and angrily picking up a convenient iPod, or the nearest bust of Fidel, and flinging it straight at the president's Bolivarian skull--until we realized that, in all likelihood, that is exactly why the bizarro Chávez invited Naomi Campbell down for a visit and "personal interview" in the first place!
Shockingly Bad Questions
At long last, Andrew Meyer has broken his silence. The University of Florida student who was Tasered in September during a forum with Senator John Kerry explained to the Today show last week exactly what it was he was trying to say. "The first question I asked the senator was about his concession of the 2004 election. Greg Palast, author of Armed Madhouse, the book I was holding up at the forum, proved that John Kerry won the 2004 election," Meyer confidently said. "The ultimate point I was trying to make was to bring up was the heinous way millions of American votes were chucked in the garbage on Election Day. Not only is this a total assault on democracy, but the same tactics used to throw away votes in 2004 will be used again in 2008. Read about the Help America Vote Act and see for yourself. HAVA helps America vote in about the same way the Patriot Act patriotically dismantles the Bill of Rights. In other words, it's completely Un-American."
Meyer went on: "The second question I asked was why haven't Kerry and the Democratic Congress made any moves to impeach Bush, considering he has led us into two wars of aggression in Iraq and Afghanistan, and wasn't even legitimately elected (as Kerry knows since, as he told me, he has read Armed Madhouse). If Kerry is so concerned about the aggressive posturing the administration is taking towards Iran, why don't he and the Democrats running Congress do something about it? They have the impeachment power. Millions of Americans believe they should use it."
As if this weren't enough, Meyer then threw in that perennial favorite: "The third question I asked Kerry, which Tim Russert of NBC's Meet the Press also asked Kerry (and Bush), is was he a member of Skull and Bones in college. Some people treat this question as a joke, but Kerry and Bush never denied the assertion. Perhaps their involvement in the same secret society (once known as the Brotherhood of Death) has something to do with the answers to my first two questions." Unfortunately, campus security rudely interrupted the hapless student before he could raise the issue of the Trilateral Commission, whereupon he uttered the immortal phrase, "Don't Tase me, bro."
It may please you to learn how pleased the Today show eminences were with their scoop. Meredith Vieira referred to the foregoing as "an exclusive interview." (Indeed, it was.) And Matt Lauer pointed out that Meyer had intended to "shed light on some very serious subjects." (Whatever you say, Matt.) Charges against Meyer (either for disorderly conduct or for asking asinine questions) were dropped and he is now focused on his future: "As for my post-grad plans, they haven't changed much. I didn't know what I was going to do then, and I still don't know."