Bob Herbert's History Lesson

History by Herbert

Truth to tell, THE SCRAPBOOK's favorite New York Times op-ed page columnist is neither of the two obvious choices (sorry boss), but the legendary Bob Herbert. An import from TV and the New York Daily News, Herbert is reliably angry and incoherent on any number of topics; but THE SCRAPBOOK is happiest when he catches his breath and offers readers a lesson in history. Like Doctor Johnson's observation comparing a woman preaching with a dog walking on his hind legs, "it is not done well, but you are surprised to find it done at all."

Consider last week's Bob Herbert essay complaining about John McCain's admiration for Theodore Roosevelt. Heresy! The bird-watching, trust-busting TR, says Herbert, would have nothing in common with the oil-drilling, business-friendly McCain and his modern Republican party. And to clinch his argument, Herbert invokes our favorite TV historian and authorized biographer of John Kerry, Douglas Brinkley: "The truth of the matter," Professor Brinkley declares, "is that Roosevelt today would be on the left."

Oh, really? This is a classic specimen of what THE SCRAPBOOK calls the party-of-Lincoln argument; e.g., How can the party of Lincoln possibly oppose (take your choice) the Reverend Jesse Jackson, affirmative action, or Al Sharpton's National Action Network? That is to say, take a historical figure a century-and-a-half removed from the present day, and drop him by parachute into contemporary America. This is about as useful as asking how the party of (Andrew) Jackson could favor Indian casinos or, to take a more up-to-date example, how the party of (George) Wallace could possibly support racial quotas.

This is not a means of connecting current politics with the past, but a device to discredit a designated villain by dishonest means.

Theodore Roosevelt was born years before the Civil War, graduated from Harvard in 1880, and left the White House 99 years ago. When he was president, Arizona was not yet a state, women didn't have the vote, New England was solidly Republican, and there was no income tax. He is, in other words, a figure so remote from our own time-living in a social and political climate so different from today's-that drawing strict analogies is a fool's errand.

Of course, Roosevelt was a critic of Big Business and an avid conservationist in his time, but after a century of regulatory reform and environmental legislation, would he have the same perspective as he did in 1901? Of course not. John McCain is as distant from Theodore Roosevelt-exactly as distant-as TR was from John Adams.

On the other hand, as neither Herbert nor Brinkley mentions, there are other possible vectors of comparison. Would the man who "seized the isthmus" and built the Panama Canal be so horrified by drilling for offshore oil? Would the commander in chief who counseled to "speak softly and carry a big stick" oppose the liberation of Iraq?

The "truth of the matter," THE SCRAPBOOK tends to think, is that Theodore Roosevelt-naturalist, naval historian, hero of the Spanish-American War-would find more to admire about John McCain than about, say, Bob Herbert or Professor Douglas Brinkley.

Bashing the America-bashers

THE SCRAPBOOK's friend Tim Montgomerie got a taste of arrogant America-bashing a year ago when he dined with an American friend at a London restaurant. They were discussing politics when the people at the next table began loudly denouncing America, obviously to annoy Montgomerie, an influential member of the Conservative party, and his friend. "Excuse me," Montgomerie said. "You're being incredibly rude." The snap response: "It was rude for America to invade another country." The exchange went downhill from there.

That incident spurred Montgomerie, who operates a widely read political website called ConservativeHome.com, to begin a campaign to combat anti-Americanism in Britain and Europe. "Anti-Americanism has become an acceptable prejudice," he says. "I've got to do something about it."

Now he has. Montgomerie, 37, last week launched a new website, America-intheworld.com. Its first feature was a poll showing Brits are anti-American in the abstract, but not in a pinch. Asked who they'd want to come to the rescue of a Britain under attack, 53 percent said the United States. Germany, at 12 percent, was second. And asked which country they'd like to spend a year working in, 50 percent said the United States, with France a distant second at 17 percent.

Other questions found that Barack Obama's popularity would fade if, as president, he either approved an attack on Iran or failed to stop Iran from going nuclear. The poll also found considerable ignorance about America. More than half the respondents thought polygamy is legal in parts of the country.

The website asks visitors to sign a declaration saying "ours is a better world because of America." Nearly 11,000 signed up immediately. And a two-minute video imagines "A World without the American Soldier"-a grim world indeed. Next month, Tory leader David Cameron is scheduled to endorse the effort to combat anti-Americanism.

He's Grrreat!

If you are the greatest Olympian medal winner of all time, you can pretty much do whatever you want-or at least eat whatever you want. Swimmer Michael Phelps, winner of a record eight gold medals in Beijing, recently revealed he eats three fried egg sandwiches (with cheese and mayonnaise), three pancakes, a five-egg omelet, three slices of French toast, and a bowl of grits. For breakfast. At lunch he will scarf down a pound of pasta and two ham and cheese sandwiches. For dinner, it's another pound of pasta and a large pizza. While training, Phelps consumes some 12,000 calories per day-not that it shows.

So we shouldn't be at all surprised when we see Phelps appearing on cereal boxes next month-even if the cereal happens to be Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. Health scolds, naturally, are up in arms because the winningest Olympian in history is endorsing a product that doesn't feature flax seed, cement powder, and magically nutritious bark and twigs. Nutritionist Rebecca Solomon told the New York Daily News, "I would rather see him promoting Fiber One. I would rather see him promoting oatmeal. I would even rather see him promoting Cheerios."

It seems that Phelps's endorsement of Frosted Flakes will encourage children to eat Frosted Flakes, which is apparently lethal. But THE SCRAPBOOK grew up just fine idolizing Tony the Tiger and wouldn't have a problem if Michael Phelps appeared on a box of Ho-Ho's. Just remember to exercise eight hours a day, kids.

Sentences We Didn't Finish

"There's a moral problem with all the pro-Georgia cheerleading, which has gotten lost in the op-ed blasts against Putin's neo-imperialism. A recurring phenomenon of the early Cold War was that America encouraged oppressed peoples .  .  . " (David Ignatius, Washington Post, August 20).