You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to pull off one of those vast, right-wing conspiracy tricks on New York Times columnist Anthony Lewis. In fact, it helps to wake up in 1958.

In Lewis's February 2 column he plumbed the hidden motivations of Whitewater independent counsel Kenneth Starr. Lewis noted that Francis D. Carter, the Washington lawyer Vernon Jordan initially arranged for Monica Lewinsky, had been subpoenaed by Starr. And . . . well, we'll let Lewis explain how the plot unfolds:

"In addition to the Washington grand jury, Mr. Starr has one in Virginia -- and the subpoena to Mr. Carter directs him to bring his records there. Why Virginia? Could it have anything to do with the fact that Mr. Carter is black?"

Yeah, that must be it. Starr probably figures that Carter will be more likely to cooperate if he first gets hosed down by the good old boys in the Virginia state po-leece on his way to the courtroom's back door.

On second thought, President Eisenhower would never let that happen, would he?