A Very Carter Christmas
THE SCRAPBOOK was, frankly, thrilled this week to receive a letter in the mail with the return address that has brought hope to millions around the world, and reduced tyrants to quivering blobs of shame: The Carter Center, Atlanta, Georgia.
At first, we thought perhaps President Carter was inviting us to observe an election--in Venezuela, for example--or accompany him on a fact-finding mission to, say, Iran or North Korea or Cuba. Inside there was a beautiful, red-bordered card with a silhouette of the dove of peace, and a collage of heart-warming images within the silhouette: A smiling Jimmy Carter; a somewhat less-smiling Rosalynn Carter; and lots and lots of smiling kids, mostly of Third World provenance, who looked as if they had just received a handful of flour from Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter.
THE SCRAPBOOK had gotten a Christmas card from Jimmy Carter! "Best Wishes for Peace, Health, and Hope Throughout the Year," it said--strictly nondenominational, to be sure, but we couldn't contain our pleasure. We had not expected season's greetings from Al Gore's fellow Nobel Peace Prize laureate!
So readers can imagine our disappointment when, placing the card gently on a nearby table, the other contents of the envelope unexpectedly fell out. Alas, THE SCRAPBOOK is saddened to report, it was all just another fundraising appeal, complete with a form for our tax-deductible contribution, and boxes to check for cash, Visa, MasterCard, AMEX, or Discover cards.
"Dear --," the letter began, "After leaving the White House, Rosalynn and I searched our hearts for ways to use our unique position to help those less fortunate here in America and around the world. In an 'act of faith,' we founded The Carter Center."
On and on it went, with the story of the Center's founding, the "three tests" the Center had to pass in order to succeed, a recitation of good works--"The Carter Center has silenced guns, helped warring parties find peace, and helped restore health to those wracked by disease"--as well as "a personal reflection" by President Carter: "People have told Rosalynn and me that when they read tragic news of famine, erupting conflict, or vicious tyranny, they take a measure of hope from their support for The Carter Center."
There was even a P.S. from President Carter in the time-honored language of direct-mail solicitations: " Please do not delay your gift--your support is urgently needed, and it will make an immediate difference. Thank you."
THE SCRAPBOOK sat down, read through President Carter's letter once again, and gazed ruefully at the solicitation form and the card with the dove on the front. And then, in the spirit of this holiday season, and mindful of the work The Carter Center does here in America, and around the world, THE SCRAPBOOK said a small prayer of thanks for wastebaskets, and in an "act of faith," did what we always do with pronouncements from Jimmy Carter.
The USS Kitty Hawk's Unhappy Thanksgiving
Last week, while THE SCRAPBOOK was stuffing itself with turkey and, well, stuffing, the sailors and Marines on board the USS Kitty Hawk found themselves embroiled in an international incident off the coast of China. At the last minute, the Chinese, having invited the aircraft carrier and its accompanying task force for a holiday port call in Hong Kong, retracted the invitation. Many of the crew on board the Kitty Hawk, the only U.S. carrier based overseas, had flown their families from Japan to Hong Kong so they could enjoy Thanksgiving together. Instead, the crew was stuck at sea, and their families in inhospitable Red China.
The Chinese at first explained their sudden change of heart as a "misunderstanding," but back in Beijing, the foreign ministry elaborated--the decision was retaliatory: a response to the American sale of missiles to Taiwan, which China considers a renegade province, and to President Bush's recent meeting with the Dalai Lama, the well-known spiritual leader of Chinese-occupied Tibet, whom China, uniquely, considers a terrorist.
As far as international incidents go, this was a minor insult, akin to a bratty little nephew extending his hand to greet you for the holiday only to withdraw it at the last second and run it through his hair, saying psych. The Chinese subsequently reversed themselves again, inviting the Kitty Hawk back to Hong Kong, but by that point it was too late--the Kitty Hawk and its task force were steaming for the Taiwan Strait, a maneuver akin to the U.S. Navy flipping the bird at Beijing while doing donuts in their front yard.
But a disturbing pattern is emerging. In a recent press briefing, Admiral Timothy J. Keating, commander of the U.S. Pacific Command, spoke of another recent incident in which the Chinese refused shelter to two U.S. minesweepers caught in a storm in the South China Sea:
For the Chinese to have denied those two ships, in particular, small though they may be, that is a different kettle of fish for us and is, in ways, more disturbing, more perplexing than the denial for the Kitty Hawk's port visit request. As it turns out, both the Patriot and Guardian remained unaffected. They suffered no damage. But this is kind of an unwritten law among seamen that if someone is in need, regardless of genus, phylum or species, you let them come in; you give them safe harbor. Jimmy Buffett has songs about it, for crying out loud.
This reminds THE SCRAPBOOK of another Jimmy Buffet song. It's called "Boats to Build," and the Navy better get to it.
Antiwar Films Bomb
Better sit down; this may come as a shock. Hollywood's spate of antiwar movies-- Lions for Lambs, Redacted, etc.--have turned out to be box-office duds. As a Scripps Howard headline put it: "War-based films are tanking at box office--it may be a symptom of apathy about Iraq." Or it may be a symptom of movie-goers' hostility to being propagandized by the likes of Robert Redford and Brian De Palma.
The latter is the theory of the parodist at the Iowahawk blog, who produced a winning knock-off of a Variety story last week:
BOXBUX SUX AS STIX HIX NIX XMAS FLIX Los Angeles--Despite critical acclaim and massive promotional budgets, a wave of anti-Santa holiday pictures floundered at the box office over the Thanksgiving opening weekend, leading some entertainment industry analysts to question whether Hollywood had overestimated the American public's loathing for the Claus administration and a seemingly endless shopping season. . . . Star power was . . . unable to save Sundance Films' Dialog on 34th Street, Writer/Producer/Director/Star/Costume Designer/Makeup Artist Robert Redford's take on the Christmas quagmire. Just last month the film had a triumphant debut for Redford at Redford's prestigious Sundance Film Festival, where it brought home Best Picture and earned Redford the Golden Redford for his portrayal of a young, gauzily-lit rugged dissident intellectual cowboy filmmaker who exposes the lies told by a department store Santa Claus (Tom Cruise) to a cynical 7-year-old girl (Meryl Streep). During its national weekend opening, however, it was only able to generate $7,425 in tickets sales, a figure which some industry analyst said would not cover the film's advertising budget, let alone the CGI and spackle cost for Mr. Redford's closeup scenes. . . .
There's much more where that came from, at iowahawk.typepad.com.